nonasuch:

additionally, I CANNOT GET OVER Steve’s fucking Sadness Errands that he keeps running around DC, like, his schedule literally goes

6 AM: jogging

7:15: unburden soul to total stranger, lacking better options

3 PM: visit own museum exhibit to stare at the Dead Best Friend Wall

4:30: attempt meaningful human connection with sole surviving contemporary; fail due to Alzheimer’s

6 PM: dinner for one

7 PM: contemplate own loneliness, probably

Anonymous Asked
QuestionWhy does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs? Answer

officialchelso:

Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.

This topic has been studied by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.

1. It keeps him on the ground.

image

You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.

2. To check on his physique.

image

As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.

3. Object permanence.

image

Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.

I hope this helps.

tupacabra:

prettygirlfrommichigan:

tupacabra:

name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense

wat are u talking about they all make scents

shut the fuck up

tramampoline:

Favourite jokes

  • Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
  • Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
  • Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
  • Bad puns in TV episode titles

bespectacledbisexual:

i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment

because men are disappointing

lousysharkbutt:

I FINALLY WENT
lousysharkbutt:

I FINALLY WENT

lousysharkbutt:

I FINALLY WENT

  • King of France: and why the fuck would we send money and assistance to those resisting their sovereign??
  • Advisor: well it would be a big 'fuck you' to England
  • King of France: send funds to America

peekaaboo:

Patrick Sharp for Chicago Splash Magazine(►)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

here is a graph of the reasons i’ve broken up with people in the past. this is the ex-axis and this is the why-axis

heros-of-the-bluebox:

sluttyoliveoil:

cough

rough

though

through

why dont these words rhyme

but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do