Senator: Superheroes have to register their secret identities!
Natasha: There’s six of us. Rogers has a Smithsonian exhibit on him, Stark won’t stop telling the world he’s Iron Man, and for the rest of us, I dumped all of SHIELD’s files on the internet.
Senator: Oh. Right.
Natasha: Oh…and Thor is Thor. That’s his real name. Even if it wasn’t, he might have diplomatic immunity to the Registration Act since his “secret identity” is the crown prince of an alien civilization.
Senator: I get it, I get it.
POST CREDITS SCENE:
(Enter the Senator’s office)
Senator: Well, that was a disaster.
Voice: You think?
Senator: Who is th- Nick Fury?
Nick Fury: I’m here to talk to you about the “Stop Wasting Everyone’s Fucking Time” Initiative.
- the Avengers get really bored one day and pick names out of a hat and trade costumes and spend the rest of the day pretending they got bodyswapped to mess with Tony
- it’s Steve’s idea
#the day nat and steve meet #she makes a joke about him being really old #do you think she does this to him every day #oH LOOK STEVE LET’S GO INTO THIS ANTIQUE SHOP #IM GONNA SEE HOW MUCH THEY’LL PAY ME FOR YOU #despite him being physically like #30 or whatever #she insists on putting 95 candles on his birthday cake #and taking him to museums and telling him where in the dinosaur exhibit he would probably be #she asks him if it was cool back when the mayflower came over to america #did you have fun building the continental railroad #did you swim across the pacific and make a trek to visit Jesus or did you just stay in america all the time #i bet these jokes are daily and they never stop #and somehow they always get steve to laugh
avengers au where clint’s got his hearing aids but he turns them off when hes bored so that he can try to decipher what everyones saying
and no one knows he does it but they think its weird when he misses huge gaps of a story or throws in an oddly specific detail that never happened or gets a name really wrong on an official report
tony and nat try to piece together whats happening through increasingly convoluted ways that may result in more than a few injuries
steves convinced its just something left over from when loki was in his head and he keeps trying to get sam to talk to him about it
bruce starts trying to develop a new hearing aid that’ll register the sound better (clint accepts them and then proceeds to continue turning those ones off too)
and then one day thor’s telling a story about loki’s embarrassing childhood and he just offhandedly says ‘tell barton to turn his ears on, he will like the next part’ and the room just goes quiet as they realize theres absolutely nothing wrong with clint hes just been being a shit the entire time
New Avengers: Age of Ultron pictures from Entertainment Weekly.