Talking with Goose about Bruce reminded me that so many shippers of Hulkeye (and shippers of anyone with Bruce really) forget that Bruce is actually irradiated.
Then again a lot of people also think Bruce can’t have sex because of his heart. Hahahaha.
Hulking our requires more than just his cardiovascular system going for a sprint. It requires key chemical and psychological triggers. Fear, adrenaline, and anger tend to be the baselines, which is why being hurt can trigger a transformation. Endorphins relax a body because they’re an analgesic. tl;dr sex would not trigger a transformation. Yes it’d amp his heart but the other triggers — the anger especially — would not be there. Also in 616 he has a symbiosis with Hulk which has had a lot of ups and downs but they basically do communicate, in MCU we’re getting toward that, in 1610 they’ve hit that after he broke away from the calming control in the Maker Reed arc and Hulk allowed Bruce to be the dominant mind personality while in the Hulk state.
Lemme repeat it for you:
Hulking out would be a very unlikely occurrence during sex.
Also: he gives off gamma radiation in small doses, in fact we saw that in the MCU universe when they were using geiger counters to make sure he was in the apartment. He would be a walking furnace more than likely, both from the fact his heart is likely enlarged and works harder in general to be able to survive the fact his body grows 300-400% of it’s original size, and the fact that because of that his blood pressure would be naturally high. High blood pressure tends to lead to warmer circulation/hot hands etc but given he’s giving off ambient radiation I’d punt a bet at his baseline body temperature being more of a 39-40C.
His body is also quite toxic.
In small doses, things like saliva, and semen, would not probably be too bad. They wouldn’t be great, but also wouldn’t be too bad. At least in the case of his semen we know he’s sterile for the radiation (whereas Hulk is the babymaker, see 616 continuity with Skaar and Hiro-Kala.) But don’t damn well scratch him hard enough to break skin, or bite him, or anything like that, because his blood is incredibly toxic. It’d be toxic to the touch for humans because of how porous our skin is (think venoms if you don’t wash them off before your skin tries to soak it in) and it sure as hell would kill you if ingested.
Likewise, general longterm exposure to Bruce — I’m talking like 50+ years — would probably present you with health issues too because of the whole giving off radiation thing. The human body does not handle breaking down free radicals, especially not of the gamma variety.
SO yeah unless your person you’re shipping with Bruce is a) a mutant, b) has a healing mutation of a high degree to be a barrier to those RADs, or c) is an alien, there are going to be health problems if precautions aren’t taken. Theoretical science states that the far future of a relationship they could find a cure -for- the other person of the relationship, or give them their own minor MINOR irradiation so their body can actually break down the RADs, but there’d be no growing ‘old’ (Bruce who doesn’t age because he can’t die welp take that into consideration too) together without some sort of intervention.
[steps off pedestal]
‘The Incredible Hulk’ alternative opening finds Bruce Banner attempting to commit suicide on the top of a glacier, however he turns into the Hulk before he can do it, smashing the glacier. In a freeze frame shot of the crumbling glazier, you can see Captain America in the ice.
omg TONY look at how short and miffed you are
“I AM ANGRY, SHORT, AND I HAVE MORE MOVIES THAN YOU. RESPECT ME. STEVE. STEVE. STEVE.”
omg he’s so tiny he looks shopped
AW LOOK, Mark Ruffalo seems to be about the same height, or close. You just know if they all took a group photo these two would be sitting in the front row. Just aww
aww look at my new favourite hobbit <3
he looks seriously pissed about how tall everyone is XD
so the other movie I finally watched this weekend wasBridesmaidsand this is the result.
Science bros shenanigans.
dis was all that I saw…
featuring the HAWKEYE STRETCH in which he inadvertently steps on nat’s dress, PEPPER’S GAME FACE, BUCKY DOING HIS THING, INCOMING BABYTHOR, and PETER WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE CEILING.
and a certain couple getting hitched i guess